As women over 40 we are moving into the age of classy, sleek, stylish, comfortable, and elegant. We no longer want clutter and confusion, suffocating or outdated fashion, a broken bank account, or a home that's hard to keep clean. Well at least I know this is true for me.
Last week I touched on some of the things women over 40 should not have. If you didn't get a chance to read the article, well then, hop on over and read it here.
Boy did I hit some nerves! My readers said I made them feel all sorts of things; like thinking of themselves as hoarders and junk collectors, some of them told me to "get out of their homes." Oh the shock of it! I wasn't even there, it wasn't me (like Shaggy).
Ladies what you all don't realize is that I was right there with you (on some things). I confessed to them, openly. I would never leave you out there in the cold all by yourself. The only difference is, I got a head start, so my purging has been going on for a few years now.
Anyway, whether you mustered the courage to start purging, or not, let's talk about some of the Things Women Over 40 Should Actually Have. Remember this is all subjective and you are free to have, or not have, whatever you want.
Let's do some therapy now️ to fix the damage caused by purging last week...let's go!
1. That Little Black Dress
Yes, the phenomenal, age-old, little black dress that every woman should have, no matter what age. The thing is, it just seems more relevant and handier than ever now. Why? Because half the time we convince ourselves that there is nothing else in our closets that can work, but this. Furthermore, it tends to work for all occasions, if you have the right style that is.
2. A Statement Leather Handbag
We are known to have multiple handbags, for every season and reason under the sun. Please don't get up and go hide your bags, like I'm in your house again. I know you have them, I was once like that, maybe still to some extent. But nowadays I find that I work with one bag. It doesn't matter where I am going, what I am wearing, or how many I have in storage. Seriously. It's just so much easier.
A statement leather handbag though is a serious investment as it ain't cheap, at least not the really, really nice ones. But they can last for years. So, invest wisely, get something you are really gonna love for a long time; preferably in a neutral tone that goes with everything. Me, I like color so this yellow bag would be just perfect. Note to self - get back another one - retail therapy.
3. A Rolling Pin or a Heavy-Duty Frying Pan
I'm sure she won't remember this, but someone, who shall remain nameless, once told me that I need to have these two items. Young, and I guess naive, as I was, I asked why and she simply responded - to slap the shit out of your husband if he ever lifts a finger to you or if you have an intruder. I did get the frying pan but never the rolling pin, I figured a rum bottle could suffice for the rolling pin; drink it, then use it.
4. Nice PJ's
Wondering why yet? It's not because you may get sick and need to go to the hospital. Although, as my mother always says, "make sure you have good undies and a decent nightie (PJ) just in case of illness." But for this purpose, I am referring to non-hospital events. Girls stop sleeping in your wholly, wholly t-shirt just because it is big and comfortable, worse if you have a man. For heaven's sake get yourself some nice sleepwear. It does wonders for your psyche and your relationship. Check out my affiliate links here for some nice, inexpensive ones. Other affiliate links can be found on my shopping page, click here.
5. Real Friends
Notice I said "real" friends. The word friend is used loosely to describe just about anybody in our lives, or so it has become. But when I say friends, I am referring to those persons who are there with you no matter what. Persons who have stood the test of time with you and have always had your back, even when they're kicking your ass for the stupid things you've done.
Mind you, not all your friends will serve the same purpose. There are some who provide the shoulder for all the weeping we've done and may continue to do; we have the ones that constantly make us laugh (the clowns); there are those who are our reminders, conscience and self-improvement coaches; then there are the ones that allow us to do all the crazy shit and hold our hands while we do them, and of course, there are also the ones who constantly remind us to be good, read our bibles and go to church. I love them all, they provide balance.
You notice how long this one was? That's because I have great friendships and I value each and every single one of them and I do not take them for granted. Even when we don't speak for extended periods, my friendships are very dear to me. Value your friends. At our age, they are hard to come by.
6. A Power Outfit
That one outfit you wear, on those special occasions or for those meetings, that has the effect of making a room go silent or leaves a resounding, "damn, who is she?" when you step in the room. You know that red carpet moment you've always dreamed about? Yup, that very one. If you don't have a dress, pants suit, or shoes in your closet that does this...then you need to go shopping. See, you get to go out on a shopping spree after all that purging.
7. A Ridiculously Expensive Item
An impulsive, or not so impulsive, item you bought, just because you had to have it and you totally deserved it. Apart from my house and my car, I'm trying to figure out what else I bought just for the sake of it because I thought I deserved it at the time and it was expensive. Knowing me, that list might be quite lengthy, hence why I can't remember any of it. Sudden amnesia. Anyway, every girl over 40 should have at least one item like this. One she can look at and say, yup, I bought that shit, with my own money, and I deserved it - with an attitude of course!
Ever heard of a rainy day account? We all need to ensure we have one. Get into the habit of putting away a little every month, because, rest assured, that rainy day is gonna come. We find every reason why we can't afford to do it this month and that's not good. I am guilty of this too. Do you know when it's gonna hit you? When you least expect it or as they say, "when shit hits the fan" and then you are going to play the "what if I had just" game. Get a grip on your finances, develop the habit. You'd be surprised how you forget about it once it becomes a habit. Check out 40 Ways to Seriously Boost Your Savings After 40.
9. Your Own Home
Not everyone will agree with this as there are those who believe in rentals and leases only. Nothing wrong with that. Your decision. However, there are those of us who wish to take on the "mind-boggling," bruk-pocket, task of purchasing our own.
That aside, I love having my own home, it makes me feel accomplished...wait..stop...I have to think about this for a little bit. LOL. Yeah it does, but so does making the monthly mortgage payments. Guess accomplished can mean just about anything these days. Seriously though, having somewhere to call your own - rented, leased, or owned - somewhere you can "veg-out" with your thoughts and your wine (or liquid of choice), in comfort, is the best thing ever.
10. A Sentimental Item
One sentimental item that you will cherish for the rest of your life, no matter what. My daddy's slingshot / catapult.
11. A hobby For The Soul
A hobby that cleanses the soul. I like playing in dirt, so gardening is my go-to when I need to think through stuff and clear my head. The results are magnificent too. I only have a problem with the little critters (forty-legs) that pop up in my garden from time to time. And no I am not afraid of lizards unless they physically jump on me.
12. Great Beauty Products
This was my biggest after 40 shocker. For someone who never grew up with pimples, acne, dry patches, overly oily skin, and the works (good genes), I've had the most disturbing reality check in the past 2-3 years. One day I woke up with pimples and I literally did not know what to do. I asked my Gynaecologist why I had bumps and what to do. I kid you not. But allow me to clarify a bit. I was in his office a few days after my shocker and so I figured why not make conversation during my check-up. Yeah, picture it! I know you already have.
So now I have to be more vigilant with my skincare regime and try multiple products to see what works best for me. I've settled on two brands, Aveeno which I have always used for my entire skincare regime, and now I've added Oil of Olay products as well. In the last month, I've added witch hazel to the cleansing routine and it seems to help. Check out this article, 40 Ways to Guarantee Healthy Skin After 40.
Oh, Ladies, beauty products extend beyond the face. Your entire body needs moisturizing. It keeps your skin tight, soft, smooth and even-toned. And by entire body, I mean ALL OF IT, not just the parts that show outside your clothing. Nobody wants to rub up against a grater. On that note, drop in a weekly body scrub as well. Clean like a whistle, crispy like biscuit, sweet like sugar and smooth like ice cream...yes Goodie!
On to more serious business now...
13. A Planner
Reason # 1: Because you all forgetting stuff already and pretending as if you're not. Girl get over it, just like aging, memory loss is inevitable, even in minuscule portions. Make your life easier and just write it down.
Reason #2: The careergirldaily says, "nothing good comes from being unprepared. Your ultimate weapon is a planner." Prepare to plan, plan to prepare.
Reason #3: You can honest to goodness tell somebody that you wrote it down. See it's right here in my planner, but I sorta forgot. Sometimes I think we need a planner for the planner.
I am a natural planner, but I don't always remember to write stuff down, I tell myself, or rather I fool myself into believing I will remember it all. It nuh work. So now I have several planners for different things (let's just say I love pretty stationery, hint, hint).
14. Realistic Goals
Do I even need to explain this? Like seriously! Why do we set goals we can never ever reach or goals that are going to frustrate the hell out of us to get there? Why not set simple, realistic, goals that we can smash away in small bits until we achieve the ultimate goal.
For example, an unrealistic goal for me right now would be to travel all 7 continents within the next 6 months. It's a goal I have, but it's unrealistic which means I am only going to make myself sad and frustrated. So, the realistic thing to do is to break it down into more achievable steps towards that ultimate goal. What could my 1st mini-goal be? How about driving to Negril, it's all the way at the other end of the island and it's on one of the continents. Am I not right? Just saying. Set your goals, they are important but don't let them become so overbearing and unrealistic that you feel like a failure when you haven't met them.
15. A Song
That one song, or if you are like me, multiple songs, that plays on all your emotions: happy, sad, sultry, bad-ass, spiritual, etc. My list is not exhaustive, it changes as the years go by, though there are a few that are there to stay, always. Wanna guess which one of them is on my forever list?
Water Runs Dry_Boyz II Men. This song makes me sad and I cry every single time I hear it. So as soon as it starts playing I turn it off or if I listen to it I know that I'll need lots of tissue and downtime after.
You Are The Reason_Leona Lewis & Calum Scott. "I'd climb every mountain just to be with you and fix what I've broken. Cause you are the reason." If you want to try and get her/him back, this is a good song to start with.
Let's Get It On_Marvin Gaye. Who doesn't have this on their playlist? It's a good follow-up to the song above.
Gracefully Broken_Tasha Kobbs Leonard / I look To You_Whitney Houston / Can't Give Up Now_Mary Mary. Whenever I'm going through crap and need to find my way back, these are on repeat. ANd even when I'm not going through anything I just love them.
Level Up_Ciara. Monday morning get up and go vibes.
So there you have it ladies my 15 things I think every woman over 40 should have. What's on your list of MUST-HAVES by 40?
FIRST YOU PURGE. THEN YOU TRANSITION.
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