I am sure you are wondering how 'Disappointments' became a 'Motivation Monday' theme. Sounds more like an oxymoron doesn't it? Well some might say it is, but I beg to differ.
You see, most disappointments for me are a motivation to do something differently, to try something else, to dig deeper, to explore my feelings or to just bawl (cry noisily) and get over myself.
As Wendy Braun said, 'it's okay to feel disappointed. It's okay to feel frustrated. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. It is okay to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. You gotta feel it, to heal it.'
In our lifetime we face many disappointments, some more debilitating than others. My life has been filled with countless disappointing blessings. Don't get me wrong, at the outset of any disappointment you question a gazillion things, including your sanity, your worthiness, your purpose; frankly you question just about every bloody thing.
In the last year, and more so in the last 8 months since my redundancy, I have questioned just about everything there is to question. I have been disappointed time and time again. But I have also been blessed immensely. And though I cry through the disappointments, and again question each of them, I know that there is always a blessing awaiting me and I just have to pull myself together and go again. Folks, this is life and disappointments are gonna come, over and over and over again.
According to the dictionary, 'disappointment is sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.' Pretty much a let-down, an anti-climax, sadness, feeling of failure or even anger.
'Disappointment can hover at the front of your mind and niggle at the back, bringing you a grey perspective on life, even if you’re trying to forget about it.' ~ TinyBuddha. Which is true. It's like a bad breakup that just doesn't want to leave you alone. And just like that bad breakup, you thrive to survive.
Here are a few things I've learned in dealing with disappointments.
Accept the disappointment as just that, a disappointment. Accept that maybe this wasn't the right thing/person/situation for you. Welcome the disappointment to accept the blessings.
2. Experience the feeling
Remember what I mentioned earlier - you have to feel it to heal it? Yes you do. It doesn't matter what emotion you feel at the time of/during/after the disappointment. Allow yourself to feel it. Hurt, anger, frustration, inferiority, abandonment, whatever it is, allow yourself to feel it. Wallow if you must, just don't move in. Allow yourself the time. That's the only way you will heal and move on.
3. Deal With It
I cry through my disappointments. Some people exercise, some drink, some party, some become reclusive, some people eat cake and ice cream. Sometimes I cuss, sometimes I get vexed with God and all humans. Sometimes I totally shut down. But for the most part I just cry it out. That's my coping mechanism. Find what works best for you and do it. Just don't hurt yourself in the process. That won't solve a darn thing. And if you need to get professional help, get it.
4. Let It Go
Finally, just L-E-T I-T G-O. Every disappointment is an appointment. Wait on your appointment. I know it's easier said than done. I speak from experience. It can be done. Sometimes it might just take you a little longer than other times, but don't beat yourself up about it.
Accept it, experience it, deal with it and then let it go.
Quotes to remember:
“One’s best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher
"Disappointment is a temporary obstacle on the road to success." ~ Unknown
"Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~ Unknown
How do you deal with your disappointments?
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